"The times in life, that seem to be the worst, always turn out for the best!"

Man I can't believe how long it has been since I've written in my blog!!! Over a month!!! Crazy how fast time flies by!!! It'll be three months at the end of March that I have been in Tennessee and it really is crazy how fast time flies by!! I'm trying to think about what I have been doing that would be of any interest to y'all..... I've been working a lot and seem to be getting a lot of good shifts, which must mean that they like me and trust me enough so that's good!! I've definitely been making enough money to pay my bills, keep my savings up, while putting a little bit away and still going out and having fun. The thing that I love about here is that Nashville is only 40 minutes away, and a lot of the stuff I go up and do there, like the Blue Bar and Rack Room, which I'll talk about later, don't cost a single thing to get in to!! Mind you, gas continues to go up, but I'm not gonna sit at home and not do anything because of that fact. So there are a couple of local honky tonks that I go to and lately have been going by myself... Fun but not as much fun as it could be.... The other day though, word came through the grapevine while I was on my break at work that Eric Church was in Murfreesboro filming his video for "Springsteen" You better believe I booked it over there.... after many texts and phone calls and missed turns I finally got to the scene!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was being filmed in a house for sale right by this girl I work with.... So I'm waiting there, and Eric Church walks by, but totally doesn't say or look at any of us.... I call my work to see if I can get it off, nope I gotta go.. So I'm pissed but I'm driving away and they're filming him walking and singing, and i was gonna take a picture of him, but he looked at me and gave me a head nod and I couldn't do it!!! Get to work, I'm pissed, in bad mood, it's slow, after an hour my boss let's me go, so I pay people to do my side work and I book it back over there and am there for like 5 hours just watching the video being filmed!! iT was awesome! I got a picture with him, like his face was next to mine but the flash didn't work so i was like screw it!! oh well!! So the next day, I had my exam for math and I totally bombed it... oh well!! ha ha That night I went to the Blue Bar and Rack Room, and met up with a friend, Kristen that I had met a couple weeks before there. She's actually a singer/songwritter but she's way nice and fun to hang out with.. Anyways, usually on Wednesday night some pretty good people play. Trent Tomilson played and he has ome hits on the radio and she gets a list of who's playing that week, and she told me JOSH THOMPSON was gonna be there, and I was just talking to AJ the day before about how I really wanted to see him, and how she's taking Braun to see him... anyways so I go there and we are at the table right in front of the stage... it's super small, real intimate, bar mainly accoustic sets are played.. so he gets on and there's this song I love of his, "Down Homegrown," look it up and if you know me, you'll understand why I like it. I found it on Youtube and I shouted out twice for him to play it and both times he was totally talked to me!! "who are you? where are you from? are you from around here? how do you know that song?" ha ha it was awesome hahaSo I've definitely been having a blast here, to say the least. I'm gonna look into horseback riding lessons too so that should be fun!! I love it here, but it's real hard to be so far away from the singles and my friends that I've made at church. And it doesn't matter where I go, certain insecurities follow me... I try my best to not let them affect me, because I know people have other trials that are FAR worse then anything i've had to deal with and I think about how selfish and immature I am to complain about things in my life, when everything is going so well! Except for small things. One of my good friends here sent me this text tonight and it really hit me: "You are great!! Life is wonderful!! Don't be blah you are crazy for not being super confident and whatever! Gosh it's people like you that go far because you are crazy incredible so embrace it lady! I'm serious. You have so much potential." She's actually in the entertainment industry and when she said it's people like me that go far, it made me think, why am I not going far? Why am I not accomplishing everything I want, things that I have control over? Am I the kinda person that could succeed in the music industry, and go far? Could I actually make my dreams come true, at least the dreams that I have control of... what's holding me back from this potential that soooo many people see in me.. And how do I grasp on to this potential and make it reality? That is a huge fear I have in my life, is that I'm going to not live up to my potential, and fulfill what I'm meant to do in this life, especially with choices I've made, or a lack of confidence I have... I really don't know why I lack confidence so much... Being here in Tennessee has really shown me the complexes that I have acquired from my past, and they definitely are paralyzing me, making me afraid for how the future might be. I just want to be some incredible and someone who uses the gifts she's been given to be incredible and help those around me.. I want so bad while I'm here to figure out what direction the Lord wants me to take, where he wants me to end up in life, especially with certain parts of my blessing.. I'm tired of getting the feeling that I can do whatever I want and it'll be ok.... I want to have certain and clear direction as to where the Lord needs me in order for me to become my best and to help others do the same... But feeling the way I do about my insecurities isn't going to help me fulfill that desire... I know that I have soooo much to learn while I'm here and that these days are creating my future, but I want it to be a great one, one where I live up to my potential and am not worried about being what the world wants me to be, but being who the Lord needs me to be.

Love Y'all

Lil' Miss Lolo <3

(Livin' life & lovin' it, from the South)